My name is Jessica and I am the mother of three beautiful children. After two fairly easy pregnancies and deliveries I became pregnant with my third. A few months after delivery I had a full blown panic attack and a rapid onset of anxiety. I didn't know where to turn for answers. I was in a constant state of physical and emotional turmoil. I began researching anything related to my symptoms (which was helpful sometimes and detrimental most of the time) from postpartum depression to countless physical illnesses. After several doctors appointments, a lot of faith, and a very trying period of my life I have finally begun to function again.
So why write a blog? Obviously I'm not an expert in basically anything (not mental illnesses, mothering, keeping a tidy house, even photography...really anything) but I do feel that everyone, regardless of their formal training, has valuable information to share they have gained through certain unique experiences. Information that needs to be shared! I can remember sitting down with doctors/specialists and explaining my very real, physical symptoms just to have the doctor look at me and say "that is actually pretty normal." What?? Are you kidding me? I felt like I was honestly dying and they told me that my symptoms were completely normal. Well how come when I google them it says that I could have hundreds of different terminal diseases? Maybe you are just writing me off because I look young and healthy when really I'm one of the .0006 percent that actually has ___________ disease. Obviously I didn't say anything to them, at least not so straight forwardly, but I was devastated.
However, as I began talking to more people about my symptoms, the more I began to discover that they were more normal than I had ever known. Yet ironically no one felt that way. I began to recognize the fact that people (at least not your typical person) don't tend to share personal information on the whim. When you ask someone how they are doing they respond, "Okay." not, "I'm actually having a ton of heart palpitations and am worried I could die of heart failure at any moment." But naturally, once someone opens up about certain situations or trials they are going through, a feeling of sharing is ignited. The more I began to openly share what I was going through, with no shame, the more stories I collected of people I knew and respected who had, or knew someone who had, gone through a very similar situation. Months ago I felt so alone in my situation, and now I understand why the doctor's wrote-off my symptoms as normal, because in a lot of ways they were (well not normal as much as not abnormal).
That is why I so strongly wanted to share what I learned (and what I am continuing to learn). I wanted others who are going through a similar situation to have hope. I wanted loved ones of those people to maybe get a glimpse into some of the trials associated with postpartum anxiety and how to support someone through it. But then I thought, why just share about my anxiety? I've constantly learned lessons the hard way so why not share all the little tidbits of information I've gained and maybe save someone a little trouble? Like my husband always says, "You don't know what you don't know until you don't know it." I hope that someone can find an answer they are searching for, that perhaps they didn't know they needed until now, as I share my own 'don't know' insights.
So why write a blog? Obviously I'm not an expert in basically anything (not mental illnesses, mothering, keeping a tidy house, even photography...really anything) but I do feel that everyone, regardless of their formal training, has valuable information to share they have gained through certain unique experiences. Information that needs to be shared! I can remember sitting down with doctors/specialists and explaining my very real, physical symptoms just to have the doctor look at me and say "that is actually pretty normal." What?? Are you kidding me? I felt like I was honestly dying and they told me that my symptoms were completely normal. Well how come when I google them it says that I could have hundreds of different terminal diseases? Maybe you are just writing me off because I look young and healthy when really I'm one of the .0006 percent that actually has ___________ disease. Obviously I didn't say anything to them, at least not so straight forwardly, but I was devastated.
However, as I began talking to more people about my symptoms, the more I began to discover that they were more normal than I had ever known. Yet ironically no one felt that way. I began to recognize the fact that people (at least not your typical person) don't tend to share personal information on the whim. When you ask someone how they are doing they respond, "Okay." not, "I'm actually having a ton of heart palpitations and am worried I could die of heart failure at any moment." But naturally, once someone opens up about certain situations or trials they are going through, a feeling of sharing is ignited. The more I began to openly share what I was going through, with no shame, the more stories I collected of people I knew and respected who had, or knew someone who had, gone through a very similar situation. Months ago I felt so alone in my situation, and now I understand why the doctor's wrote-off my symptoms as normal, because in a lot of ways they were (well not normal as much as not abnormal).
That is why I so strongly wanted to share what I learned (and what I am continuing to learn). I wanted others who are going through a similar situation to have hope. I wanted loved ones of those people to maybe get a glimpse into some of the trials associated with postpartum anxiety and how to support someone through it. But then I thought, why just share about my anxiety? I've constantly learned lessons the hard way so why not share all the little tidbits of information I've gained and maybe save someone a little trouble? Like my husband always says, "You don't know what you don't know until you don't know it." I hope that someone can find an answer they are searching for, that perhaps they didn't know they needed until now, as I share my own 'don't know' insights.
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